Well an update to this thread I had the SE apart for over a week giving it some love and kicking the tires when it wouldn't start haha.
Cleaned and checked dam near every wire
Eliminated all shorts and rerouted wiring all over the engine bay
Swapped in a new HID kit so I have headlights again
Eliminated stock air box and put on a cone filter
New timing belt, tensioner, water pump, thermostat, fan clutch and left front brake caliper
Not sure what I did but the cruise control works like a charm now
I checked every wire, sensor AND relay in the car because after having it apart it just wouldn't start and was not throwing a single code
after about two days I decided to check the timing belt after it threw a Code I think 53 (crank angle sensor) while I was trying to start it and bam that was it the belt was off three teeth (that's what I get for having a near blind diesel tech as my helper) so after that she started with a roar at the turn of the key like normal
The headlight/taillight warning light still won't go off even though every light works and even more strange the fuel injector wires both positive & negative have power ALL the time even with the key off but function like normal?!
Now I'm still chasing the cooling issue that's driving me insane... The way It's acting definitely leads me to believe the radiator or the block is clogged full of sludge BUT the fluid flow is strong and water comes out clear as it goes in so I'm scratching my head. Punched out the thermostat so It's getting max flow, checked the fan shroud and even tried some maxima fans wired to run all the time on either medium or high switch controlled. It will drive for 10 mins warming up then 20 mins about halfway on the temp gauge and after that it will just keep heating up until you let it cool down or blast the heat. After some research I really don't want to flush diluted acid through it so I might order some "four seasons super flush" It's salt based and was recommended by a few people as well as straight vinegar.
I'm weighing my options between more flushing or just buying a nice shiny S13 rad to see if that fixes the issue.